December 29, 2021

So Karl got loose today while I was bringing him in for the lesson. I’ve taken the chain off and he just drags me around. With the whip I’ve been getting better, but today was a pretty bad setback for me mentally. All the questions - what am I doing? I don’t belong here, I don’t deserve this horse - all running through my brain at 100mph. But I had to keep myself in check so we could have a productive lesson, and it went really well. 

Started working at liberty and he really enjoyed it. I need to be in a driving position behind him, more to the right and definitely at the trot but I was able to connect with him and got a nice draw at the end. I’m figuring out how to use my body to help him use his body, and I need to go slow right now. Same for riding, but I already feel out connection is developing from my seat. Focusing on riding the shoulders and using my inside thigh to move the shoulders out into an open yet contacted outside rein. I had moments where I used this aid at the proper time and was able to influence the shoulders to achieve better balance, thus allowing for a supple bend and for the sling muscles to be free and enable the lifting of the chest that brings them to the lifting of the back.